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America Runs on Crunk

by The Brown Christmas

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1.
That Cop Looked like Guy Fieri (free) 02:45
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2.
Gert'll Get it (free) 03:40
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3.
Big Boys Do it in a Big Way (free) 03:07
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4.
Big Boy Noise Circus Freakout (free) 04:24
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5.
Get Fucked (free) 01:51
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6.
Are you sure you're not fucked (free) 01:34
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7.
Border Patrol Hat (free) 02:23
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8.
Nobody Knows what it's like to Eat My Dick (Tonight) (free) 06:15
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9.
Sourdough Bread (free) 01:58
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10.
Dilated to the Size of Pinholes (free) 01:28
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11.
Premature Birth of a Whale (free) 01:43
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12.
Fax Machine Funk Machine (free) 01:53
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13.
Electric Bangladesh (free) 04:05
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14.
The Bees in the Church (free) 01:36
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15.
Thoth (free) 03:03
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16.
Termite Tango (free) 01:31
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17.
Stir the Aura (free) 03:42
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18.
Quiet Time (free) 01:02
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19.
Cosmic Bassship (free) 03:07
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20.
That's the Face (free) 03:08
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21.
Hard Walkin (free) 01:53
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22.
Going away (free) 04:16
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23.
Flowing Situations (free) 03:33
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24.
Boats and Shit (free) 02:34
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25.
Clam Shells (free) 03:50
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about

On the way back to Brown Acres Studio after picking up Joemazing and his equipment, and with a giant loaf of freshly baked sourdough bread, The Brown Christmas were pulled over by Guy Fieri. In fact they were parked right in front of their destination and didn't realize anything was amiss until a voice over a megaphone told them not to get out of the car.

Having broken no law, other than driving a really shitty car, they figured they were about to get a warning and a lesson on proper car maintenance. However something struck them as odd when even before handing over their paperwork, Guy Fieri began taking down their license plate number, and calling for back up.

Guy Fieri- What's that in your lap?
Michael- ...Sourdough bread.
Guy Fieri- Yeah, ok.

They were asked to step out of the car, scolded about the shape the car was in, and then asked an odd question.

Guy Fieri- Where's the weed at?
Michael- I don't have any weed in my car, Mr. Fieri.
Guy Fieri- I know you're lying. Now if you tell me you have a little weed in your car I can help you out, but if I have to go in there and find it you're all going to be in big trouble.
Michael- There's no weed in my car.

This went for about an hour when The Brown Christmas were finally allowed to continue with their plans to play music and eat bread, but not before Guy Fieri got to examine it.

The moral of the story is that Guy Fieri does not like people with shitty cars and sourdough bread.

youtu.be/hkpOpLvBAr8

credits

released May 31, 2013

Todd- Bass, Synth
Michael- Synth, mpc 1000, drums, pedals and electronics, vocals
Joemazing- Synth, giga-delay, guitar, bass, vocals, youtube clips

Compiled from recordings from August 2011 to May 2012
*Tracks 11, 12, 15 - 20 recorded at The Dumpbucket Pub

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Brown Christmas image

The Brown Christmas Sewaren, New Jersey

Proprietors of ambient noisescapes and improvized electronics

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